Here we go again

My 9m old is so not a good sleeper. I can honestly say that I haven’t had a good nights sleep since he’s been born. It is 2:25 in the morning & I’m sitting in my living room in my rocking chair & hoping he goes back to sleep very soon. I’m so tired its stupid! He’s in his swing & usually it takes him a few minutes to fall back asleep but no not tonight…I wanna scream b/c it’s always me! I never ever get any help from my husband on nights like this, not even on the weekends. I’ve talked to that man until I’m blue in the face, explaining to him how I need help & I need to sleep but it’s just the same thing over & over which means me still getting up w/ the baby. It is the most frustrating thing b/c I really wish he understood & our talks are pointless & always end in an arguement or “I work all day”…WTF does he think I do? Sit around & watch tv or some shit!? We have a 5yr old son who’s autistic & then the baby! Granted the 5yr old is in school. I wish I had the time to watch tv or read even.  Some days I don’t even eat b/c I’m so stressed out & so tired. It gets old after awhile w/ no help. I don’t even ask anymore b/c I don’t want a fight & trying to prove a point to him is like talking to a wall b/c he doesn’t hear me. The only time I ever get a break is when the kids go stay the night w/ their Grandma & if I’m lucky I get a Saturday outta the house w/ my sister. I knew being a mom would be stressful at times but I figured I’d be able to handle it b/c I would get help from my husband…hahahahahahahahahaha…boy was I fuckin wrong! It was the same way w/ our 5yr old…always mommy getting up, feeding, bathing, changing, etc. Anyhow..baby’s almost asleep so maybe I can get some sleep now. Cross your fingers for me!

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